My grandma is quite a character, and I appreciate her for that. In her heyday she was an active tomboy who often played tennis and baseball. In fact, when other grandmas may enjoy watching a soap opera or The Brady Brunch, my grandma can be found watching a football game rooting loudly with "her gums flapping" (as my dad always says cause she has no teeth) and sipping on some scotch. While other grandmas may dress in floral dresses or pleasant little pant suits, mine wears New England patriot jerseys and no bra. My grandma is also a total Irish stereotype in that she is a drunkity drunk drunk. She starts at 10AM with a bloody mary and then continues throughout the day with whiskey and waters or gin and tonics. And she isn't even classy about it! She buys plastic bottles like us college students and drinks them out of little plastic cups with cacti and cats painted on. She also complains about everything and when we offer a solution to the problem she ignores it. She's also a bit racist. She calls Asians orientals and likes to talk about how our family fought on the confederate side during the Civil War. She has had a variety of pets in her day, mostly Yorkies that smell terrible and Persians that look terrible. But overall she is a funny lady and I love her despite her many discrepancies.
Another lovely thing about the Cape Cod house is that it is right down the road from all the greatest things you can think of. There is a classic general store that sells penny candy and seashells and mood rings. A little farther down that road is my cousin Conner's house, who is a bit of an ass as far as cousins go but still nice. Even farther down the road is Four Seas ice cream, which is delicious and 75 years old and a family tradition. My dad's high school math teacher started the ice cream shop 75 years ago and we still go to it now. And even FURTHER down the road is THE BEACH which is my favorite place in the world in the summer time. We go to this private section of beach called Craigville where you pretty much have to inherit the membership. But it is SO lovely and I cannot imagine a summer without Cragiville beach or drunk granny or Daisy the basset hound staring soulfully from the salty wall or a smelly Yorkie licking my toes in my sleep. It's what my summers are all about.
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