Monday, March 15, 2010

"THERE'S A PENIS ON THE LOOSE!"



Oh glorious road trip. You were my first and I will never forget you. Who would have thought that the American south could ACTUALLY be awesome. I mean, I would never want to live there. But as for the sights and the history and the totally different culture, it was fascinating! I even have a new-found appreciation for country music (particularly women in country music) and I will miss wearing cowboy boots all the time. Also, the food was amazing. Never have I eaten such delicious ribs, tacos, donuts, anything fried etc. in my life. Highlights include:
1) Lorraine Motel in Memphis, TN
2) Statue of Liberation through Christ in Memphis, TN
3) Grassy Knoll/Dealy Plaza in Dallas, TX
4) SoCo in Austin, TX
5) charming every gay man we met
6) My Name is John Michael and TrainWreck live shows in Nashville, TN
7) seeing the Mississippi for the first time (WATER!)
8) staying in the sketchiest Super8 of all time in Memphis, TN
9) Madeleine Albright's pins in Little Rock, AR
10) homemade spaghetti/salad dinner and Harry Potter charades in Ashville, NC
11) sleeping in a Wal-Mart parking lot and therefore becoming a "person of Wal-Mart" in Dallas, TX
12) flirting with David at Sonic while eating "blasters" in Little Rock, AR
13) scoping out all the HOT LOCAL TEENS

There were also hilarious quotes (I can't name them all, there is an entire notebook dedicated to their hilarity) and wondrous thriftin' (which included 3 new belts, 2 new dresses, 2 tee shirts, a pair of heels my size, and a Coach purse!) and I relaly just want to thank all the people with legitamate drivers licences who drove my non-driving NYC ass over 3000 miles. You guys are baller! I also have to give a shout out to Mrs. Weigel for being so awesome letting us use the van and to Mrs. Pride for being generous enough to pay for dinner on International Women's Day (WOMEN RULE). Y'allz are awesome.