I love to sleep, but I don't get very much of it. This is usually my own fault because I usually cannot fall asleep before 1am but feel guilty if I sleep any time past 12pm. This is mostly due to more fun things I can be doing, like watching movies or eating.
But the worst thing in the world is when I am tired and laying in bed and for some reason or another, I just cannot fall asleep. I guess some would call this insomnia. It happens to me very infrequently. I am usually a champion sleeper, but last night I had the strangest fear induced insomnia. It was like being a little kid all over again. As soon as I turned out the lights I got all scared. Every terrible horror movie and terrifying scenario started to play itself in my head on a loop. The comment that Adam made the other day about my ceiling having finger print marks and a weird red smear filled my imagination with images of ghosts and spirits throwing innocent people all over the room Freddy Krueger style. Those Law and Order: SVU episodes where women are found battered and raped after having their apartments broken into play back. That synthetic weave I found in the alley next to my house hinted at a buried dead body resurfacing. I have a morbid imagination. Every little itch I had or silence I heard was a ghost touching/creeping up on me. I couldn't shut my mind off. It was so infuriating because all I wanted to do was sleep but all I could do was think.
It may have had something to do with the chocolate milk and oreos I ate at 10pm. Or the caffienated beverages I had consumed earlier in the day. Maybe my diet is to blame for my nightmarish insomnia. All I know is, it needs to stop. I hate being scared. The number one memory I have from being a kid is just being terrified all the time. My parents rarely censored me from scary movies, and I loved the thrill of being scared when I watched them, but when it came to turn the lights off at night, I was a nervous wreck. For almost 10 years I refused to sleep in a room by myself, sometimes even a bed myself.
I need to learn to sleep in a room by myself and not be terrified.